voices voices everywhere

how much does a polar bear weigh?

2011-12-14T07:18:00.000-08:00

Hospitals seem to be a recurring theme in my life this week. Spent half the day yesterday at St John of God as the maternal unit went for an x-ray. Turned out she had a slight fracture on her shoulder after she took a tumble :( and to add insult to injury, it is also her birthday today; happy birthday Ma! many loves for you!

Also, V is currently admitted for perhaps an appendicitis. This gave me the sads. I wish her a speedy recovery, but then again, she is a robot! and I'm pretty damn sure that she will punch this illness in the throat. Followed by making the said illness (let's give it a name shall we? we'll call this illness "Marquez"), Marquez' children watch as she feeds their father pieces of his own meat. RAWWRR!!

be strong dollface! it's no fun making fun of you when you're down :(

also, if you're bored; wear a dark hoodie and go scare some old people by looking at them in the eyes saying "it's time"

many loves for you too!

let's do this thing! RAWWWRR!!

2011-12-12T07:37:00.000-08:00

So recently I fell in love. yeah I know right?! I never understood the notion of 'falling' into a state of affection, rather isn't it more of an act of 'transcending' into a state of affection? Pedanticness aside (yes I do realise the irony in killing the word pedantic by coining the term pedanticness, but you can't judge me!!) I realise that I am the socially awkward penguin. Coming from the internets, it is hard for me to describe or even express or let's face it basically communicate with her. However, throughout the whole day, everyday, all I want to do is let her know what I'm thinking about.

The awkward tendency to freeze, not knowing what to say when i call/message her tends to overwhelm me ever so often, so i guess, this will be the media of choice. Wherein I can and have always have the ability to express my thoughts freely, letting my fingers do what my mouth can't (hehe). Yes this semi-forgotten old blog that had always been a trusty companion for many years will finally serve a purpose again, hell I might even start chapter 4 of the Pasquel Rodriguez Chronicles.

V if you're reading this, I love you like a fat kid loves cake, and I fucking love cake.

edit: yes I know this is sappy as fuck compared to my older posts, but well... shut up! it's my blog and I can cry if I want to, cry if I want to.

creative juice and the lack of it

2011-05-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

its been a while since i wrote for the sake of writing. it feels as though i no longer posses the creative juice i once had. no more inane, underhanded, cynical, sarcastic funnies that i tend to come up with back in the day. perhaps its with the advent or at least my realisation of the existence of memes that i can no longer think in text. lately i'd much rather relate my thoughts to the oversimplification justification of funny pictures with simple captions. i've lost it... i've lost my wit and i dont know whether or not the internet is to blame...

look! even the title of this post lacks any form of creativity.. i'm in my second paragraph and i still havent broken the fifth wall, what the fuck is wrong with me.

fuck it! you know what i really hate, when people dont finish trying to get their point across and they just leave you hanging

"to err is human to arr is pirate" - unknown

2010-01-27T18:41:00.000-08:00

its been too long, again i doubt my readership. 2010 is here, we are one step closer to having robots running our society and calling all the shots. i for one have already purchased my metal hats in respect of our metallic masters. idzaid likes snickers, cos he likes to have nuts in his mouth. however contrary to popular belief, our metallic masters are not evil, as they are often portrayed in popular media. i believe that they can run an even more awesome democracy than what we believe we have on our plates now.
oh well...
much love!

mr.anderson... i am disappoint

2009-09-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

if you don't understand what the heading is all about, go ahead and google 'son i am disappoint', its been giving me the giggles for the last couple of days. one of the few things that actually made me giggle really. i tend to question myself as a human being, am i being a hypocrite to myself when i can smile and laugh in the presence of others, which in turn, makes them giggle and smirk, all the while, when i am alone, i fail to entertain myself ( ha ha masturbation innuendo.. farnee laaaa). seriously though, i hate being left alone with my thoughts. i tend to get rather paranoid, its almost painful.

why is it, in the presence of others, we want to be left alone, yet when left alone, we hope to dwell in the presence of others.. arent we just odd creatures.. i wish i can remember how to achieve zen in a state of loneliness.. i used to be very good at it, no really, thats how i roll!!!

if you are me, then who am i? - samurai jack to his twin of evil incarnate

2009-07-02T00:19:00.000-07:00

the whirring of the garage door calms the soul, brmmmmmmmmmmmmm... the door itself as if speaking to the people in the car "get out! get out while you still can! run i'll hold them off!"

i have no idea where i was going with that, but if i did, one day, i'll probably forget to tell you guys anyway. for the last couple of days i've been hearing narrations in my head, not the usual "dont eat that thing its covered in penicillin" or "dont hit that man, he's 75 years old and he has a cane... that can be a weapon, you can get seriously injured".. wait what do you call those again? oh yeah.. conscience.. no not that normal spoilsport created out of the sham that is morality, the voices that i hear are my normal thoughts only now that its tainted with a hint of gonzo style journalism.. for my friends who arent familiar with what gonzo style journalism is, feel free to wiki that right now, no its ok, i'll wait, i'll even put this nifty little page marker so you know where to pick up when you come back to this page, that is if you come back

*************************************************************

back? found out what it is yet? good, very good my minions, you deserve a gold star.

this is not a very good post i know, but i never said i was a great writer.. shattap! life has been crap lately, theres not much going on.. ooh no wait, i can throw cards now, yeah right across the living room, cool right? yeah, now go tell your friends!

the glass is half full... the rest is pretty much your imagination

2009-06-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

be like water... be zen, be at peace with yourself, be quiet for crying out loud! yeah this is prolly gonna be one of those soul searching post.. im not a big fan of it either, but we're both gonna have to ignore the elephant in the room and make the best of it yeah? now nod, smile, cos everything is gonna be A ok!

if you havent left with a bitter taste in your mouth wondering what the fuck the last paragraph was about, then i salute you herr or frau, i salute thee. i really do wish i would stop going into my blog unplanned. its like a booty call, it just happens.

emptiness is a pain. its only been like a week into my hols and im pretty much drained of whatever creativity i had left. i've been trying to continue with the pascal saga, but i keep hitting a wall. so much so that now the wall is threatening a lawsuit on my ass.. im going to see him in court on tuesday.. not the judiciary court, but the gay bar on william street... no one saw that coming huh.. man i still got it... muahahaha *sigh*

where does one draw the line? i mean, i tried waiting for love to come.. thats about as pointless as shaking a porcupine in hopes that its gonna snow tomorrow.. now im trying to put myself in the game.. which is almost as pointless as the last scenario but now the porcupine has a weather control device, the only thing thats stopping it from snowing tomorrow is the fact that porcupines dont speak english.. duh!!!

so communication is the problem yes? forgive me for the sudden narcissism, but i do get alot of "you're too nice" feedback from all the girls who are close to me.. what does that even mean?! what? do girls like it if i randomly poke them in the knees with a knitting needle? is it so wrong for me to open doors for you ladies and actually listen to you when you're talking? sometimes i wonder what im doing wrong.. hmmm...

i aint got the ugliest mug out there but i aint exactly pretty either, but man, i dont even know anymore, at times i wish i can just get into my space station, climb into my sleeping chamber and escape..

aaaaarrrghhhhhhhhh!!!

im pretty sure some of my guy friends out there are feeling the same way.. it hurts to be nice dont it?

no sympathy comments please, nonsensical ramblings will be treated positively

you never go full retard - tropic thunder

2009-04-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

"Pascal: an ever-ending story" page or part 3... I don't even know anymore...

Green; bright, neon green, the kind of green that gives you a migraine just from looking at it for too long. The kind of green that kids use to make classroom duty roster posters. Upon resting eternally one first time, Pascal is thrown into a cube made entirely out of this hellish shade of green. He can tell that it was cube, simply by touch, yet he can't feel a thing. It was more towards just knowing, rather than relying on his senses. He began to wonder if he still had any senses, and if he did, he wondered why the bowl of noodles was floating in mid air right in front of him. Like a poorly budgeted sci-fi show from the early 90's, the color of the cube changed from green to neon pink. A change, not a very good one, but a change nonetheless. The time lapse shortened with every change of color within the cube. The colors changed so rapidly that it begins to create images. Pascal could tell that these series of images was flashes of his whole life.

It wasn't like a silent movie or anything, it was more towards a less than impressive powerpoint presentation with too many animation squeezed into it. A lot of things that he thought was the highlight of his life had been omitted from the slideshow, but yet, every post that he had posted on fmylife.com was in it. Alas, no matter how crappy the presentation was, Pascal still managed to attain the central theme of it all. He closed his eyes, took a sigh of depression and uttered the words "My life sucked".

"Yes, yes it did" a voice pontificated (whoa 5 syllable word, who knew?). Pascal opened his eyes, only to find that the cube is no longer there. Whiteness, as far as the eye can see, surrounds him, nothing but plain space, vast and straight out of a page from the matrix. Oddly enough, the noodles was still there, in all its floatey glory. The voice reverberated from a brown man, of medium stature, dressed in a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid" with an arrow that is comically pointed downwards.

Lost and uncertain, Pascal inquired "What are you? Where am I?". Annoyed, the young man replied "Well that's bloody racist ain't it, I'm Indian! And as for you sir, you are in Purgatory, Limbo, neither heaven nor hell". With a wave of his hand, he summoned a lay-z-boy and a coffee table complete with tea and biscuits. The now awed Pascal muttered "whoa, just like in the Matri.." Don't say that word!!, you're gonna get our asses sued!" the guy who is soon to be known as Steven interrupted. "Call me Steven, come here and join me for tea and biscuits why don't you"

shmenks

2009-04-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

fuck it, i take back what i said, it pays to be nice

when are you gonna do? (inside joke, dont ask)

2009-03-15T04:06:00.000-07:00

chapter 1, still but part 2, well... laziness ensues

Through the masses of phallus enhancing drug adverts and just plain old viruses (Pascal still hasn't marked these things as junk mail, simply because it makes him feel good,important, in a sad little way.. saaaad), Pascal found a gem in the miniature sea of shit that is his email account. A penpal(such a thing still exist, trust me, speaking from experience here) had sent him an email, a proper one. A smile carved unto his face as he reads through it, tis but a simple mail, asking how he was and how did the last assignment that he kept bitching about last week went, but still, its nice to get an email that isn't a facebook notification, many of you are nodding your heads in agreement i see..

The loud click of the kettle snapped Pascal back into his hunger pang as he was typing up a reply. Mechanical is perhaps the best term to use when seeing our hero cook the instant noodle, the pot, the stove, the hot water, all in almost one swift motion, in other words: da brotha got mad skillz yo! restecp! He taps the strainer multiple times, just to make sure that he gets all the water out, one of the worst things in life, i believe is soupy indomee.. ergh.. just plain ergh.. he then proceeds to mix in the strained, dry but cooked noodles into the mixture which he had prepared earlier, the order in which you mix your indomee reall says alot about you, no seriously, have a good think about that while i go through your stuff.

feeling cultured, he decided to use chopsticks, instead of the usual, more conventional fork. right before he left the kitchen, with the indomee in hand, he looked at the knife the had used to open up them packets of noodles with rather naughtily. with the courage of a straight man in a sailor suit, he threw the knife above his head in an attempt to proclaim a small victory in catching it in mid-air. the knife slipped, he juggled it with bowl of noodley goodness and chopsticks, praying that this death-defying act will not cause him any physical harm whatsoever. i would like to break the fourth wall here and say that i tend to do these stupid things when im alone.. if you dont or cant relate with what im saying here, then please leave the blog and never look back.. fucking nay-sayer! k now back to the story. the knife landed in a cliche' but most impressive manner of standing perfectly vertical having stabbed the wooden floor. with a sigh of relief, he pulled the knife out, threw it in the sink and moved on to his laptop.

Pascal logged on to cryingwhileeating.com, he does this a lot when he eats breakfast lately. it fills him with great joy pointing and laughing at them funny pictures.. having little training with the art of the chopstick, he pretty much gobbled up the noodles, the extra dryness in them surprised him for about a minute or so, right before he choked on it and died.

cos someone wouldnt sharrap about it! tee hee rove ya!

2009-02-23T03:15:00.000-08:00

chapter one

Pascal awoke to the cooing of the ravens, does ravens even exist, I don't know, but if they did, they'd sound a lot like crying babies. "Not a good start" he thinks to himself as he counts to ten, making a promise to himself to get up and cook some instant ramen as his stomach commands him to. "8,9,10... 11, 12, 13" still his willpower was nothing to be proud of.

He eventually overcame the spur of laziness that hangs before him like that creepy little woman from Ju-On, with the bed scene, and the creepiness, rawr!.. as he sat on his bed in a semi fetal position, poking on his knees that was still covered by his blanket. Yes, Pascal was a man that would still have his blanket on perfect as he sleeps, that is how lazy he is, he doesn't even move in his sleep. Brilliant writing here.

Pascal scratches and yawns his way into the kitchen, the surprisingly neat little kitchen, complete with all white cabinets that matches his fridge, his secret pride and joy. No dear readers, Pascal is not bent, he is as straight as an arrow, rest assured that I wanted to write a whole toilet scene where he takes an epic leak just to boost his masculinity, but I do have female readers and no, chivalry ain't dead. He opens up his well stocked pantry, that has almost everything besides preserved cow brains in 2% milk, because that would just be sick, its either full cream or nothing at all. He reaches for 2 packs of indomee mee goreng (sponsorship whore, I am, I am) opens both of them up and puts the kettle on, switches off the kettle, put water in and then put the kettle back on. Annoyed and reassured, Pascal began reading his emails....

to be continued, i might make this either a daily or a weekly thing, we'll go according to the responses that i get

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - quotesgarden

2009-02-12T04:55:00.000-08:00

achtung - the following post was typed up with a clear conscience, i mean, clear like empty as hell, cos im just gonna let my fingers do the talking rather than think shit up.

rightey o, your beloved blogger, oh please do stop the applause, make me shy laaaa, where was i, oh yeah, your beloved blogger is back, and is all raged and shit, ready to attack uni at full force. i must rephrase this sentence one of these days before i get arrested.. please dont arrest me... get idzo instead...(haha sorry idzo i just cant do a post without burning ya)

lets talk about laziness shall we? laziness can be defined as the lack of will, to do anything really, procrastination is the younger brother of laziness, pretending like its not a part of the family, like an emo child having dinner with his conservative family at sizzlers.. yes dear emo child, procrastination is as much a part of laziness as a visa to a passport (yeah, i write as i see the shit on my table)

it affects us all dont it, admit it you bastards, how many times a day do you stop yourself from doing something on the grounds of laziness? i asked you a question damn it! answer me! no not that loud, this aint no dora the explorer, now sharrap and keep reading.. laziness affects all of us, great and small, from the mightiest of beast to the lowliest of idzaid (feel free to burn me on your blog hehe), it rules us all, governs us with a soft, pillowy fist, instills random thoughts in our heads like out of nowhere u will get a mental picture of the brand of toilet bowl that you last saw in the shopping mall and decided to decode anagrams out of it...

armitage shanks...

shag me thanks... no wait that wont work...

anyhoots the point that i was trying to get across is the idea or notion that we dont pursuit laziness, it just creeps up on us, and distracts us with a wave of its magical wand filled with what i like to believe; angel dust... mmmmm angel dust.. ever so mildly 80's i am today...

it has reigned over us for years, decades, centuries, millenias.. let us take an example from pop culture shall we, right.. tolkien was well known for the hobbit gay porn that was the lord of the rings right? no please dont respond, it was a rhetorical question... what i dont understand is the portrayal of sauron himself. i mean, was anyone born evil? can you actually prove that a baby hitler would actually commit genocide before he could walk, so yeah, i guess evil is trait gathered by nurture.. so what gives us the rights to call sauron 'evil', just because he was given the appearance of a large menacing eye overlooking all of middle earth, like a giant prehistoric K.L tower, does not show his tyranny..

where am i going with this, ah right dear reader... where in the hell does it show that sauron was an evil man, eye, or whatever the hell he was, like what kind of a childhood did he have, prolly one of those "my uncle touched my papa's ping ping" (kiss kiss bang bang, 2005) kind of childhood, but sadly, we will never know, lest of course someone digs up tolkien and do a little gandalf magic on him.. grab a shovel idzo, we're going grave robbing...

so what is the moral of this story you fucking moron?! i hear you moan. well... err.. i would come up with a conclusion.. but.. malas la..

blankity blank blank bitchheeessss

2009-01-23T04:01:00.000-08:00

ive been slapped with a great deal of inspiration to write, not a post, a book, an actual story, unfortunately this idea has been turned into a movie, of which i have never seen or can recall the title of.. mmeh

today i came to a realization, well i stumbled into a question really; why is it so much harder to be thankful for what we have rather than be envious towards those around us?
why cant we come to peace with the cards that we have been dealt with.. why does jealousy even exist to begin with?

i believe that we can actually reach nirvana (we passed upon the stairs, we spoke of was and when, although i wasnt there, he said i was his friiiend - the man who sold the world, go listen mangkuk) if we can just overcome this tiny little obstacle, this puny little wall of insecurity and come to terms with how we look, how much cash we have in our wallets, what car we drive etc...

what amazes me is that i think we have to make peace with ourselves before we can make peace with the world.. no im not high, shaddafrakup..

if we want the things that we dont have then all we have to do is put in a little bit of work, little by little; you're too skinny? eat more, too fat? exercise(tee hee, i dont even know the meaning of the word), material possessions? just save up for crying out loud. sure little sacrifices must be made, but hey doesn't the end always justifies the mean?

having no anger, resentment, bitterness towards anything does not make you inhuman, heck if anything it gives your soul a little rest.

now go on, have one last cry, sleep and promise yourself a better, fresher tomorrow.

again i am not high, i just felt like being a spiritual guru... pwn bitchess

Seeeee my vest! - Mr. Burns

2009-01-19T19:58:00.000-08:00

lately i've been listening to what home has to offer in terms of the indie music scene. and i must say, i'm proud of what ive heard so far. they are teh awesome man, like yuna, man she sounds like lisa hannigan, her lyrics and what not, its fresh really fresh. and bittersweet, i cant remember where they're based but my god, its awesome, listen to a song called capital e, it really does have a touch of the good ol' pop yeh yeh days man..

anyhoots the main point of this post is to promote a starving young artist, a friend of mine; chea is one talented frakker with a marker, so chekkim out!

'Veni, Vidi, Velcro' - I came, I saw, I stuck around.

2009-01-08T05:28:00.000-08:00

ngahah! your friendly neighborhood blogger is back again, alas, am i trying to break my previous record of a measly 6 post last year, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps (cake, cover, go tube it). anyhoots, i am alive again, seeing other people's issues; because thats what people do, they have issues, real ones; made me realize that my problem is merely a lump in a sea of shit(jthm - god i love using this quote).

so thanks to a few reinforcements, namely; painting to heavy metal scores, batman comic books, hookers, blow and most importantly fwens (awwwww so kyoooot), i have finally come up with a new years resolution. so here goes;

i Raja Hairul Akmal being of sound mind and body will promise to do at least one good deed a day, to make this world a better place.

emphasis on sound mind and body just in case my friends are actually reading this piece of fecal matter(ghod the poo analogy is running amok tonight) i call a blog.

why did i chose this resolution i hear you whine oh my dear readers, well its simple, if i can focus on doing a good deed rather than being naaaaaaaaaughty, i will

a) put myself in an awesome place in karma

b) have a kick ass story to tell everytime i feel like blogging

yes memang ada udang di sebalik tahu, but hey, if it makes the world, at least the world that I live in a better place, why not?

gob frickin owns!

2009-01-06T05:39:00.000-08:00

this hits the nail right on the head

i'm an idiot, that much is pretty clear to me and everyone that knows me. but the clarity has never been so crystal til tonight. how do you deal when you yourself is your worst antagonist... frak it. no seriously. frak it.

im trying so hard to remain positive. life has been running as smoothly as i could expect, but theres this tiny little voice in my head that keeps bugging me, telling me that the road not taken is perhaps the only right way in the pursuit of happiness...

i'm so sorry for reasons unknown, stupidity ensues

on a side note, arrested development owns no matter how many times you watch the whole freakin series.

ku bukan super-star

2009-01-04T03:57:00.001-08:00

at the risk of sounding like a dirty hippie, im beginning to see life in a more positive light. i have found 'the secret' and somehow that shit pretty much got me motivated. oh my! what a weak little mind you have i hear you say, but fuck you! im smarter than you oh naysayers, the eloquence of my diction says it all.

where was i? oh yeah, with all the crappy little shitty things in life that has been happening to me lately, i did go into a slump of... shit, dare i say it? depression.. but i dare not show it. i hate those mopey little people who carries their problems on their faces, i believe there is a term for those people, what was it? emo? no wait, whiney bitches...

on new years eve, i realized that i was basically dancing a one man tango, and thus, determined not to welcome two double 'o' nine crestfallen, i decided that it was about damn time i stopped being a bitch about it. i now open my arms to problems, welcome issues, greet misfortune and pretty much adore insanity.

so heres to you 2009, now to see if the secret really works...

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know… the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

2008-12-29T03:47:00.000-08:00

ah yes, here i am, again at the mercy of the cruel mistress; the blog. She is cruel, laughs at you when you are naked, but you keep coming back for more, and more! Why? Because she is the only prostitute I can afford (master wong, balls of fury). sorry just had to slip that in. now ive been back in perth for about 19 days after an awesome 2 months in malaysia, a trip home that was filled with wonders and tragedies. i worked as a teacher back in my old school, the following is a piece that i wrote when them kids were rehearsing for their school concert, not much to do when you're a relief teacher mmeh. -

You never know jack shit till you can teach it. That’s prolly the easiest way for me to sum up what my work experience has been thus far. Teaching has got to be the toughest, most fulfilling career that you can choose. One can never understand how you can be hated and loved, both very very strongly at the same time. It is simply awesome to know that you have touched a life, and will somehow be implanted within someone’s memory for the rest of their lives.

Though daunting as it may be, the first day came with great comfort knowing that I have amazing support to back me up through this beautiful journey. The smiles on the faces and the random thoughts that spews out of their unfiltered little mouths are motivation enough to drive through the hellish traffic to and fro work. Just the other day, a little darling by the name of Yasmine blurted out to me “cikgu, atuk saya ada kucing nama pondan.” Or roughly translated “teacher, my grandpa has a cat named faggot.” Priceless.

I wonder how I would or could accept my life back home, where is home anyway? they say home is where the heart is, but what if your heart belongs with a special someone? Doesn’t that justify to; home is where you feel most horny? I don’t dare doubt it.

But then again im taking the issue of having a special someone a tad too cynically. Im no cynic, I’m just trying to be cool, mmeh. Sharrap your face.

I mean I’m sure that everyone has met or is with that person who can make you smile without even trying, who you think about during sleepless nights, wondering if they’re thinking about you in the same light, and if they are, where would you two be? Loneliness is a bitch; we all know that, so in order to break isolation, we all must take chances. A chance to either make it or break it emotionally, but if breaking lonesomeness results in crashing and burning, isn’t that a lot better than slowly rotting on your bed, driven to the point of tears, just for being cowardice?

- so here i am, back home, rotting, driven to the point of near tears... guess that makes me a coward... anyone got a fork, for me thinks me need to eat my words...

It is better to die like a tiger, than to live like a pussy. - master wong, balls of fury, man i love that movie..

For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord.

2008-08-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

Walking is a task that i enjoy, its gives me great pleasure (no, not in that sense, damn it idzo! haha) to see how we turn left and right using nothing but the swing of our hips; it swivels!! seriously, have you ever stopped to see how we change directions in the streets, the complexity of the relationship between the brain and our legs is beyond me... and that is why im not cut out for med school... its either that or my horrible 'a' levels results.. shattap!

you know what ive never understood? insecurities, well perhaps, i do have a certain recollection of what it means to be insecure, my depression era has taught me the true meaning of the damn word, it feeds on you, makes you feel worthless at what you may find to be a fault in your system. however this "fault" may not even be visible to the society as a whole. what im trying to get across here is the idea that your insecurites are your own personal demon, no, not the Succubus, Iffrit or Leviathan kind, more towards the "voices in my head that tells me to cut off my own ping ping" kind... society is blind my dear readers

the most common kind of insecurity is prolly the one involving the physical body. "i'm too ugly/short/skinny/fat/bald" and so on and so on. However, does what you look like ever defines who you are? unless of course, you're out there to make a statement, case in point; superman. im not saying that people wont judge you, sure they will, but how will that affect who you are as a person? to answer my own rhetorical question, no! if it does affect you, then by joe, you need help oh dear reader

the people that i adore the most are the ones who embrace their insecurities, i do see the paradox in this statement, how my judgement of a person is based on what they do with their insecurities, but please take in a positive light will ya? now shattap, eat a cookie..

where was i, oh yeah, for example, i have this friend; the beautiful princess named ruzanna. now those who knows her well enough will say that this little cookie is a sandwhich short of a picnic (yes i do realise that im using a lot of food imageries, im hungry damn it), but she embraces the nutty side, and to me that my fwens, that is beautiful

now im gonna go and get me a cuban visa, cos i know that ru will prolly come after me with bloodlust... she's gonna skin me with a spoon

wheeeeeeeeeeee

every 10 minutes a woman gives birth to a child, she must be found and stopped

2008-08-07T08:19:00.000-07:00

the dankish doom of gloom known as boredom struck me, tied me, gagged me(if you are turned on by this, then kind sir/madam, please leave my site and proceed to the countless s&m websites that are available on this vast sea of shit known as the interwebs) and forced me to re-read all my previous post, a task that took me no longer than 5 minutes. i think theres collectively less than 20 post written within the last 2 years. 2 years! HOLY PIGSHIT BATMAN (if you are turned on by this statement, then yes you do have a poo fetish coupled with a shiny leather fetish too and yes feel free to explore the interwebs, ctrl+t so u dont have to open another window) i mean if my blog was a baby, then it would have been able to walk on its tentacles by now, whoaaaa..

i realise that i do have a talent for writing utter fecal matters and still people would read them, case in point, you my dear reader, yes you, no, dont you dare click the close button, i have cookies...

now thats out of the way lets get down to business.

lets explore this little concept of love shall we. what is it? well my friends, i believe that love is a feeling that you get, a zone of euphoria, that affects the mind, body and spirit of its inhabitants. its a drug thats the high not the pill (seal, 1998, kiss from a rose). like all drugs, when the effects wear off, the downer effects take place. symptoms may include, annoyance, ability to fake a smile, listening to old school r&b, zoning out for an hour staring at the closet while sitting on the bed after showering and many many more. in short, love is like eating ribs, tasty, messy and you'll suck it to the bone (no pun intended) in the end, when you have nothing left, you're left with barbecue sauce all over your face, in a mess, staring in the mirror thinking; what the fuck did i just do?

mmmmmmmmmmmmeeh, guess im just a pessimist, a cynic if you must, but being the narcissist that i am, i like to think of myself like a durian; sharp, heavy, hard and pretty much a prick on the outside, but deep inside im all soft and sweet.. hahahahaha k you can leave now.

i love you guys! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're o.k now.

2008-07-08T03:35:00.000-07:00

have you ever thought of the physical implications of your own knee? i mean, it really is a biological wonder on how they work, imagine if it were on backwards. imagine if the next step in evolution would be backward knees, this would have serious repercussions on the chair industry and the 100m dash records. hi there, if you are new to this blog and is already sick of my writing or feeling rather queasy, well, grab a paper bag cos its only gonna get more fucked up! yeaaaay!

if you havent noticed, this is gonna be a rant piece.. like yeah, one of them pieces that can only make sense when you're stuck in traffic after a hard day's work cleaning wombat ( an implement of playing 'wom' (McDermott, P., GNW, 2008 ) ) cages. now lets talk about stuff that really annoys you, besides me, no really, besides me, what annoys me the most, besides myself, is generalisation of things... i should really clarify that shouldnt i, this my dear readers is what we call irony...

leaning more towards stereotyping is what really grinds my gears ( MacFarlane, S., 2006? ). not only within a racial circle, stereotyping stuff as well, like i can say that epiphone guitars are crap in comparison to gibsons.. they're not, i mean if you look up the history of the two, epiphone was gibsons main rival and what not before the war and bla bla bla... the point that im trying to get across here is the idea that behind everything and everyone is a story, a story that is worth your while to listen to before you make any judgement towards him/her/it/whatever laaaaa

wow, thats an awfully short and crappy rant, well whatcha gonna do, im just doing this piece so i can reach the conclusion where i get to give my shout out to people and what not, so big ups to saru hime, stop being sad, to himiko chan, to kazuki san, thanks for the shirt, to dave the bear, to dennis and danny, my korean brothers, to everyone on my msn list and especially to you my dear readers, for now you know the meaning of regret.

breaking benjamin - no games

2008-06-20T03:14:00.000-07:00

Masculinity.. what is it? No seriously what is it? Is it the justification for a man hitting his wife over what to cook for dinner? Is it the notion that a man cannot act camp or effeminate in front of other men? Or is it the basic idea that a man must be a provider and he is an 'other' if he fails to do so?

Masculinity is an ideology thats been around since the dawn of time itself. In whatever belief system that you have faith in, masculinity is there since the very beginning. If you are an evolutionist, then, the idea of masculinty is there with the cavemen, heck it even came with the idea of being a 'caveman'. Masculinity can be easily defined as a man is not man lest he provide shelter, food and safety to his family. This definition is still justified until today. If you're into creation, then the definition towards this ideology is still pretty much the same. Man is to work off this land and what not. However this is more towards the classical view of masculinity, where they also justify man's reign over women, and thus should not be relied on.

Ideologies dont change, they evolve. Ever wondered why 14 year old boys act the way they do? You know what I mean, pushing each other in public, talking about masturbating out loud, over-masculine basically. Well, put yourself back to your teenage days. The days when we are confused, searching for our identity. Being lost, we tend to over-act the way that society intend our genders represent. Thus now you see why tween girls put on 5 inches of make up on, now you know why boys vandalise public phones, its the biological equivalent of mountain goats headbutting each other or lioness prancing about... mmeh where was i, oh yes. Masculinity, dare I say it , is down to the power of the penis.

Phallic power suggest that since men are able to penetrate and is not the penetratee, they are then a creature a step above the other members of the species. This is as how you say it.. err.. utter bullshit, however the power of the penis is highly important to the male species in order to feel masculine. This is evident in the movie fight club. Remember the scene with the testicular cancer group? Ask yourself this question, why did Bob with big tits cry? Why I hear you ask? well its because he cannot feel masculine, in turn he cannot be a provider, hence he does not embody masculinity, this alone can drive a straight man nuts..

i would love to rant more, but im too tired. so go away.. to send hatemail, please click comments, oh and izzy, check the lyrics to the song title above, tell me if i interpret it right?

sebab mel suruh aku update

2008-06-15T04:28:00.000-07:00

yeah... its been god knows how long its been since i even glanced at my own blog... sangat sedih right.... anyhoots, whats new ah? went back to malaysia twice this year, sorry to those people that i didnt get to see when i went back, i mean geez, collectively i was in malaysia for a fortnight, so tak cukup time, sorry kengkawan! i am on hols right now, but since i already went back twice, akie is now waaaay to broke to even consider getting a plane ticket, so frak that!

i miss my bandmates, i really do, im learning how to play the guitar right now, all due to metalocalypes, if you guys dont know what that is, go look it up you ignorant foo's! i now understand how failure can sometimes be a blessing in disguise, for further information on this, please find me elsewhere as i'd rather not talk about it when theres about, well err... 5 other people reading this..

i've been learning japanese... only the naughty stuff really, i mean come on, thats the first things that you get when you learn a language anyway.

abang aku got married, congrats to him, this was the reason for my second trip home.

anyhoots, i dont feel like blogging anymore... not in this post anyway, this one is merely an update on my life, for my fwens out there who are too malas to nudge me on msn or call me.. so im gonna start another post now...

Verbal Excrements, From a Strapping Young Lad

2007-12-15T03:31:00.000-08:00

First thing first, if the title is making you happy or turned on in anyway or manner whatsoever, please leave now, i dont want no sickos that gets turned on by the words 'excrements', 'young lad' or 'strapping' reading my blog... nah kidding, if i was serious, i'd lose three quarters of my readers. You sickos are all right.

The reason why im blogging now is because I'm feeling rather creative at the moment, which says alot about how I live my life every other day... Now alot of you out there notice how rarely I've been blogging these days, and for that i shall award you with a Nobel prize for err... chemistry(shut it idzo, i know they have one for chemistry... i think)...its either that or a cookie...

Anyhoots, life have been treating Akie well as of late, Akie have been doing rather well in his studies, so well that now he's adressing himself in a 3rd person perspective. For the first time in my life, I've actually been getting good grades... shocking isnt it? This is also probably a result of being pressured, I need to get a loan for my next semester, I need to do well, I need to stop telling my ambitions to the public... fuck.. anyhoots, to any companies with bad publicity out there, here's a thought, feel free to endorse my studies and once i get my public relations degree, i shall work for you guys..

My internet connection shat out on me last week, maybe, i repeat, maybe thats why I'm blogging right now, strange aint it, u can call it a near death experience if you want, but that is what it feels like to me right now. So far all I've been doing is ignoring this blog and reading other people's miserable little jottings.. Whats sadder than a blogger you ask, well a blogger who ignores his own blog and reads other people's blogs.. Typing up this blog has reprieved my feelings about why I started blogging in the first place, its my sanctuary of creativity, where I let my hands do the thinking and leaving my mind in the back seat, verbal diarrhea if you must. And it saddens me when I see people posting just to burn someone that they hate, but I suppose, thats in the unwritten law of the interweb, a blogger's blog is his castle. It also annoys me to read blogs that are written in a manner to make the blogger sound smart, it annoys me like a salty pain in the ass. I think of blogs and I think of improv, I think of Jazz, I think of a child playing with Playdoh, It is a flow of utter ingenuity full of soul and life, never static or sterile.

so for the fucks of it, heres a poem i constructed in record time of 2 minutes... hahahaha fuck i need a life..

Flies, oh Flies
Peace they promised,
Lies oh Lies,
Never Compromise.
Bright lights of Bush's imaginations,
Comes to life on my cheeks,
No infatuations,
Only dark, dankish or bleak....

All's fun and game until someone hurts a kidney...

2007-10-27T16:41:00.000-07:00

Alas! Uni started, happynyer aku!! finally hidupku bermula! finally aku ada physical friends that i can actually see and touch and talk to and not my imaginary buddies who lives in my shoebox, sad i know, but compared to 3 weeks ago, trust me, it was alot sadder... it was so sad that, bah lets not get into that..

anyhoots to all you ignorants who still dont know, im taking communications, doing what i think so far in my book what i think is right for me. Because for once in my life, i was actually grinning ear to ear upon getting piled on with assignments, magical, abosulutely magical and i am actually going as mad as a bicycle, cos ive already started doing them and i'm having a jolly old time doing it.

im taking marketing as an elective for now, will prolly consider doing it as a second major next year, never had a lecturer that was so universally funny. my uni is filled with international students, its rare to see local australian kids to trod about really, i finally have a car, those who know me knows my luck with cars, so lets pray that my luck changes with this one.

i'm studying cyberculture, pretty interesting stuff, we're studying why mangkehs like you are reading crap like this on teh interwebsss, and why i bother writing them, will it make me popular? no! will it make me rich? maybe.. heres to wishful thinking... the campus is soo laid back man, my hobbies now include lying down on the grass drinking coffee watching the day go by, yeah im a beatnik, throw rocks at me, well you cant can you? so hah!

funny thing about this place tho, and im talking about perth in general, when the weather is hot, that is when the flies awake from their slumber and come at you like you owe them child support, so you try to beat that bitch with a stick, with your pimp ass right hand, and stomp that trick with yo' playahata shoes... but seriously the flies are really, really annoying...

oooh before i forget i was sick last week, it was horrible, threw my schedule a week back, my back was aching like mad and my left kidney's in pain cos i had a glandular fever, bah, you can never see it coming can you... ok thats all for now my little minions and voices and... oh fine bananas and pears, cos you guys are my darlingsssss arent you just sooo.. who's the widdle little.... k before i further creep you guys out i shall leave you with some famous words that was once said by a very famous doctor;

wuuuuuuuubuububuubuubuubuuubuuubuuubuuubuuubuuubuuubuuubuuu

For sale: parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain.

2007-10-06T06:24:00.000-07:00

the sound of loud drummings that hurts your ears and sync with your heartbeat, how i long for those, it immediately puts me back into a jamming room, the comfort of it, unsettling, not wanting to disappoint your band mates but yet still having the best time of your life, feeling like a rockstar even without an audience. Coming down here have been a mixed blessing, i get a second chance to restart my life, yet letting go of my old one is too hard.

bah you've heard me rant on and on about that issue countless of times, so i'm just gonna stop bitching about it, heck i wanted to come here, i couldve just stayed back at home and studied in itm or somewhere, but i prayed for an escape, so here i am, and im glad. Especially since my uni is just starting on Wednesday. It sucks having to take a year out, not knowing of how your life is gonna work out, not having control over your own destiny, having a vision, without a path to even begin the first step with. It sucks watching your friends moving on with their lives, passing you by, with you knowing that at one point, you were all on an even playing field, but there is nothing you can do, not even rant about it, cos deep inside, you knew that you couldve done something about it. but the moment is gone and theres nothing else to do but move on, look forward and move on.

i guess this is where having friends comes in handy, they are there for you(please forgive this hallmark moment), they look past your failure, encourage you to hold your head up high and be strong about it. we all have our moments i guess, but you guys have no idea how much you mean to me. i'd like to take this chance to give a shout out to the people i didnt get to say goodbye to before i left, i'm sorry, dont take it personally, i was such in a rush in the last week i didnt even get to see my girlfriend, i love you sayang. bukan ko la apek, hahahaha

apek you owe me for the client, i shall claim my loot when i return tahun depan, besides that, i am sooooo looking forward to serj tankian's solo album, yeay!

guess that about wraps it up, my classes starts on the 15th with orientation on the 10th, my life is now back on track, will prolly update after raya...

take care folks, selamat hari raya and my sincerest apologies to all ive done wrong to, maaf zahir batin

Padam Padam - Edith Piaf

2007-09-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

the goats of norway ran for their lives as the invaders struck the town, looting gold and broads, setting fire to townhouses, schools and even the mayor, laying waste to every standing structure they see...

now that i've got your attention, all two of it, let me begin by saying its a very lovely day outside, albeit a teensy bit warm, but hey, been through worse.. anyhoots, life hasnt been treating me very well as of late, suffered from a minor case of bronchitis, not cool, especially during bulan puasa, woke up shiverring on 2 occasions, coughed myself to sleep, but yeah i'm all better now, so its all good.

while bed ridden, i entertained myself the only way a sick man can, no, not that, you sick bastard, how did you get out of the straitjacket is beyond me, but tie yourself back up please, thank you, so yeah, been watching a lot of old school stand up comedy, and i realise just how awesome Richard Pryor really was, the man had a heart attack, once set himself on fire when he was high freebasing(feel free to wiki that) and in his later years he even had MS(multiple sclerosis) but yet he can still look at life with a positive outlook, making fun of every single thing that he suffered, he used the heart attack as an act in his stand up, he deemed MS as 'more shit' and even went as far as lighting a matchstick on stage, calling it richard pryror running down the street, the man was simply awesome...

anyhoots, i've enrolled in uni, i think i start in oct, meh, see how it goes, till then happy puasa kawan kawan!

I had some great things and I had some bad things. The best and the worst. In other words, I had a life - Richar Pryor(1940-2005)

back up or i'll slice ya!!

2007-09-09T00:39:00.000-07:00

there are things in life that hits you when you least expect it to happen, but then again, life would be pretty dull without these moments, i was at the umno merdeka celbration yesterday morning, it was held at a park, gorgeous day, gorgeous place no doubt about it, then all of the sudden, this storm came out of nowhere jack, i mean this shit was the roughest weather i've ever encountered since i got to this place, and 50 over plus of my people got wet... tsk tsk tsk, kesiaan... the sky was crying cos pavarotti be dead... thats what i think anyhow... anyone who knows me can tell you how much i love his music and how good i am at bullshitting too..

Clubbing is fun here, i swear it is, not cos of the clubs or the music or aything, cos i've definitely seen better, it was the people, everyone was all smiles and shit, cos everyone who goes into a club knows for damn sure that they're going in for a good time and wants to leave there with a good time. No drunken fler trying to shuffle making it look like he was trying to kick the shit out of air, no snobbish ass girls looking slutty but still refuses to dance with you no matter how hard you try then gives you the evil look like you are pure trash saying my boyfriend will kick the shit out of you with his shuffle dance... this is something that i never understood when i was clubbing in malaysia, i mean, if you dont want no attention, then stop dressing like a slut! g'damn!! its hard to ignore you when your skirt so high i can practically see your pootie stains on your panties aite hahaha..

thats all for today i guess, i'll update when i feel like it, cos this shit is mine bitch!! mine alone!! bruahahahahah sick my duck you dyslexic fuck hahaha, now do u suck theeeese baalls??

'You want us to do WHAT?' - Ancient Chinese wall engineer.

2007-08-15T16:52:00.000-07:00

most of this post will not make sense, so go away if you dont feel like reading nonsense... right you're still here... damn it

right lets talk music, i went cd hunting yesterday, it was awesome, for the first time in my life i actually bought original cd's, no this is not an exaggeration, and its awesome cos theres a certain pride in owning something that somebody put their hard work into, and theres also a certain pride in owning things using your hard earned cash... i loves it!!

stone temple pilots are awesome or to quote myself from circa 2005; its amazing, its beautiful maaaan, daamn chun, go find this track called sex and violence, it puts a smile on my face everytime i listen to it, so good.... listen to cake, comfort eagle is a mad track, it really is.... the way they play is relaxed yet dynamic, you can never can get the same sound twice on any of their albums, thats how good they are...

on a side note, im gonna get off my ass and start painting again, i'm gonna get my supplies and make strange things on canvas, please no sexual innuendoes.. i'm slowly losing my sanity its not a cool thing as i actually became a camwhore yesterday... fuck... if i dont get a job soon, this blog will be filled with junk posts like this one.. then i'll lose my readers and be rendered into a poor submissive pile of flesh, yeah you'd like that to happen dontcha you little bastards!

i miss you babes!

kielbasa

2007-08-06T17:50:00.000-07:00

right after many pressuring threats for me to update this stupid thing, mostly from abhi, damn it! ive finally gotten off my ass, and logged in... bah!

so whats new i hear you ask.... i hear things, i do..... nothing much is new, i worked for MIDA for 4 days for their convention, thats the Malaysian Industrial Development Authority for you ignorant bastards, it was fun, earned a hefty amount for the work that i did, hopefully i'll get that job again next year.

made new friends, awesome folks, it seems as though the mentality of the malaysians here are so different from the mentality of the folks back home, i hardly hear people bitching about other people here, its awesome, i thinks its something in the water...

shopped like a nut, got meself a psp, which i find to be a little treat for myself, since i cant remember the last time i blew a chunk of cash on impulse. its not just that either, when i bought it, i felt as tough i was catching up with my life, back at home, i cant quite grasp this feeling, its strange, cos back at home i never even had a net connection, and now here i am, streaming movies, screw downloading, i even have wi-fi now, shit man, i can stream from my bathtub.

its strange, cos in order for me to enjoy the luxury of this life i actually have to travel 5000km, sacrificing my old life, the company of it all, its a double edged sword of which i'd rather not face again, i miss my old life, yet i enjoy every minute of this country, but hey you cant have everything right? i miss you sayang!!! haha

lima bulan siot!

2007-07-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

hahaha 5 months man, how many readers have i lost? lets have a count, so thats 23, 79, 91......
NONE! since i never had any in the first place, lets see now where should i start since i felt as though i have matured more in the last 5 months than i have in the last 10 years.

right lets segway straight into it, i hooked up with a long lost friend, sid which led me to another long lost friend, jamal... the three of us then realised that we had more in common than we thought... this then leads to bleeding nipples... no not physically damn it, i aint got no nipple ring that you guys can just rip out at will... we formed a band called bleeding nipples,its hardcore, 1980's british punk with no shyness of a sexual innuendo, yeah... awesome aint it.

sid then introduced me to many characters, all of which i wished i had more time to get to know, they showed me what it truly means to live young and fast, living on impulses and rock and roll, on the edge between durians and sate, jamming and clubbing, you know how much you mean to people when they would travel all the way to kajang at 2am just to hang out with you,it was just awesome...

i fell in sayang but i dont know if its aite with the significant other if i talk about it out loud and stuff... oh look a blue car!

my siblings who were living in dublin are now back in malaysia, happily working in hsbc and stuff, azhar happy birthday bro, it was nice hanging out with you, wish it couldve been longer but hey, we'll always have heritage. hahaha.

been listening to alot of heavy metal, mostly system of a down, good stuff, again thanks sid for teaching me the art of rocking!

oh and i am now in perth, been here for 2 days now, its cold as... i am so close to saying hell, but i cant stand juxtapositions, like kampung baru... whats that all about huh.... well it is cold, the winds doesnt help, i need a car, but hey, lets just take it slow huh, take it slooooow.

neeh!

2007-01-29T22:56:00.000-08:00

in my opinion, malaysia needs a new line of entertainers, those that just stick to their particular talent and make a living out of it, rather than they try to be great at everything and make a mockery out of the industry. what im trying to say is, there are too many of singer/actor in this country, why cant they just be singer or actor, if you watch television interviews with a new singer right, i bet you a month worth of underwear that one of the question that will pop-up will be " takder hasrat ke nak berlakon lepas ni?" like wtf man! i dont mind those who can actually act, i mean credits where credits due, e.g: adibah noor, afdlin shauki and what not, but the other ones, y'know, it doenst take no rocket scientist to spot them out, they tend to overact anyway like speak english with a brit accent or menggedik-gedikkan character diorang..... we cant all be great at everything right? that is why steven seagal's records never went plantinum for fucks sake..

its not like its the sixties right? people stopped singing in movies right? if i wanted to see actors sing i'll go to a fucking theatre where they actually do it PROPERLY ... fuck!

another thing thats really been bugging me like a salty pain in the ass is reality singing shows where the public holds the complete and utter power over who wins, because it is clear that these shows are merely popularity contests, and it can easily be won with money,and friends who doesnt give a shit what you sound like cos they will still vote for you, which in my book does
not constitute as a friend... anyone who'se been watching blast off would agree with me here, good bands are actually eliminated and the sucky ones stays... fuck man...

many other factors roll into the voting bullshit, but thats a story for another day...

the pledge

2007-01-28T04:09:00.000-08:00

got a bunch of dvds today, the prestige is teh shitz, yes i finally watched it... it had one of the best plot twist ive seen since old boy, and fuck old boy is great.... i got the black dahlia as well, but instead of the versiot with scarlett in it, the dvd fler accidentally gave me this fucked up masochistic b-movie version, which is pure and utter shit.....

anyone seen clerks 2? well if you're a fan of kevin smith then its worth a watch, if you belong in the other category which is the "who in your mother's clit is kevin smith?" group then go and watch mallrats or clerks 1 or dogma.... and so on... where was i? oh the point yeah... well i found the ultimate definition of the lord of the rings trilogy in this movie which had been stuck in my head for so long now;

randal: Oh, I'm crazy? Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano. even the fucking trees walked....

fuck man... that is pure class..

Stickshifts and Safetybelts - Cake

2007-01-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

life is about as odd as a fish in jeans, carpe diem - carp in denim , meh potatoes potatas, lets see how small the world is shall we? the night i went out to maisons, who do i run into? puvan!! the mofo was back for hols from manipal wei!! then edna whom i havent seen since prom.... right, then my bro tells me he's seeing someone from taylors..... i swear this world is getting smaller and smaller(no fat jokes i swear i'll make you eat lightbulbs) anyhoots....

oh idzo, heres what i heard about the muse concerts, i heard that apparently malay people cant go, cos its sponsored by tiger beer, i'll get that cleared up for you, once i get the full details, to be honest, even if we can go we won't be able too, cos im broke, so just settle with whitney houston for the goodbye song.

but if it is a fact that malays are not allowed to attend the muse concert just because its sponsored by tiger beer, i for one am not gonna stand for it. this is rubbish mate, like what? we're only suppose to attend concerts held by mobile providers? its shit aint it, why cant maxis take muse and let tiger beer take rain, yeah rain, like mana ada melayu nak pergi tengok rain? pookietiau!!

anyhoots i just realised that hugh laurie, the fler who played house was on blackadder, he is now officially my hero

if life is like a box of chocolates, then why does mine taste like shit

2007-01-20T21:51:00.000-08:00

i dont feel like posting anyhoots, i just feel like proclaiming my leave down to the blue yonders of which i hope to be perth... righteous oh my dear brother, i might be leaving by the end of feb, so if u feel like chilling out or anything, call me yeah... you know where to find me

-winnie the shit

confessions....

2006-12-22T20:45:00.000-08:00

1. i love lily allen..... yes yes i do...

2. i watch projet runway and absolutely loved every minute of it...

anyone with remarks or comments with homosexual innuendoes in them can go suck bricks... as i am all about the pusseh...

2 weddings and a funeral

2006-12-03T22:07:00.000-08:00

last weekend was prolly the most enthralling rollercoaster that i've ever ridden. it has worn me out emotionally, spiritually and physically. the first wedding was on sat, i worked at that wedding, it was messed up, cant a traditional malay wedding go on without a friggin karaoke machine, frak la! and that was prolly the last wedding i'm gonna work at, long story short, shit hit the ceiling fan and it wasnt pretty, see me in private for the play by play commentary..

the 2nd wedding i went to was on sunday, mums friend's daughter and what not la, tradition what to attend a wedding of some stranger in malaysia... anyhoots the crazy ass part was trying to find taman shamlin perkasa without a damn map, only instructions like "its in cheras, go down the mrr2, see the eon and caltex then turn left" pandan indah is not cheras in my book, again long story short, roundabout dua kali masuk pastu u-turn baru betul.... i've been driving shedloads this weekend, night and day so i would like to take this oppotunity to tell those flers who drives a ride with xenon white light beam to please just go and die...

and as for the funeral, my grandpa passed away last friday, he went in his sleep, i called up an ambulance and they put me on hold, giler la... it was my 1st funeral procession, i saw each step like an 8mm film, slow, silent but yet filled with emotions, i cant say i didnt shed a few tears, my grandpa lived till he was 83, he was in my book as one of the king of sarcasm, at 83 the man's wit surpasses most of the people his age, he taught me that if you live and laugh, you live long...

al-fatihah.

blogging is a spaz's best friend

2006-11-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

tralalalalalalala.....
botticelli in my eyes, was the greatest painter who ever walked this realm.. he was definitely ahead of his time, a rebel of the renaissance era, he painted roman mythology with a catholic feel, so thats messed up.... the symbolism in each of his painting surpasses beyond those of leonardo's or even massacio's.. a woman made a career analysing each and everyone of the flowers painted in the allegory of spring.. fuck...

the fact that he painted roman mythology in the renaissance era made him stand out amongst those who painted for the church, yet he stayed true to the rules and proportions created in that era... he teases us with the portrayal of his famous venus having the same feel as mary does in every other painting during the renaissance era. the man is simply a genius, toying with nudity and ideal beauty as much as giotto toys with proportions... basically ahead of his time

this is not a drill, it is merely a harmonious pleat of words

2006-11-05T22:53:00.000-08:00

recently i discovered that i have an uncanny knack for typing complete and utter bullcrap, example A) check out my previous post... read it? good... perhaps i can manipulate this talent and turn it into new age philosophy... and possibly write a book on it, then i can become the new age dalai-lama and all that jazz, practically making money by giving others nirvana... not that the dalai lama does that... the money part.... err yeah...

so before people starts sending in hatemails to me,lets get my hands dirty and slop some words on this post....

my melancholic state is but a facade to my hatred towards society... i hate it so much i want to die, i can't die yet for i must rant on how much i hate living..

i dont understand why we must pay for tv anymore... they have ads on almost every ten minutes and in between the rain comes in and steals the show.... satellite tv my rectum, maybe if i fashion a kuali and a senduk into a dish i can get the french channels....

i dont feel like myself today..... maybe i'm a house.... or a shovel.... i am a corn... bite me....

if kids are a blessing, then what are sins but the act of making a kid without the intention of getting a kid? i confuse myself.....

learn a new swear word each day, then you can swear for a lifetime...

i am now a happy man, for i just robbed you 5 minutes of your life that you will never get back again... thank you and good night....

post.... like a pole.... none of this crappy typing business

2006-11-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

righteous people of the planet arthepoleia!!!
i come bearing peanuts and onions all for your
dining pleasure. this is not a test as much as it
is a testament to my tormenting sense of boredom.
this also serves as an experiment to prove that people
will read shit if i call it sugar...

this is sugar... read it...

monkeys and goats will have my heart, as long as they
have clean hands... goats dont have hands... if they do
i want them clean.

enough with the bullshit lets cut to the chase, i love
cucumber but they never seemt to show the same amount of
infatuation towards me... maybe they do, but i dont understand
cucumbers.... they are awfully silent.

this is what most will call a spam, but how brave does
one have to be to be spamming his own blog with utmost idiocy
and limitless class?

chea happy birthday, i thought it was on the 13th, my bad mate..
wish sharvind the same for me aite.

raya was aite, it didnt suck, well not as much as i thot it was gonna.
only 2 out of 7 houses that i went to had kuah kacang.. the rest
had ayam masak kicap... wtf is the world coming to.

meeting up with arie on thurs in subang, feel free dear monkeys to give
me a ring and cramp my style in the streets...
or if you have the cravings to slap people...

till then, auf widherseenzenentrahahahaburgersen... i dont know..
i dont speak german either

Imogen heap - speeding cars

2006-10-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

right...

so theres a chance for yours truly to gain a title of producer.

and theres a chance for yours truly to get a well paying job.

so pray for me.

one of my cats died...

so pray for him too..

its raya soon.

yeay.

i can barely curb my enthusiasm....

heres an ode to the ktm system

"around the bend for the train i wait,
my arrival being a second too late,
cigarette smoke and wails of crying babies,
echoes in my wretched time.

my presence unfelt in their tired minds,
the heat we share,
the heat we bare,
around the bend i sit and wait,
for the train that came a tad too late..."

bahalol punyer train system... dekat 2 jam from subang to kajang...

anyhoots happy merry raya everyone, have a good one yeah.

shooooh shoooh

2006-09-27T20:53:00.001-07:00

so its like september man...
i went to like 4 farewells in the last 3 weeks... its not much physically but it is definitely emotionally draining... 2 farewells were dinners and the other 2 was just a guys day out hang out thing... meh... my regards goes out to my 2 close brethren abhi and idzo, you guys had always been there regardless whether i needed you or not... bastards and also to mels and soraya, hope you guys enjoy the uk lifestyle yeah...

anyhoots
happy puasa..
now go away i need to curl up into a fetal position and sulk.
lapaarnyerr...

Culture? no not that yogurt shit

2006-08-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

what is the malaysian culture? right now, being a malaysian, ive always wondered, what is 'our' culture... let me put it in a scenario aite... say a malay guy comes to me and ask me what is our culture, my response would simply be, well we drink sirap, we celebrate raya, we salam cium tangan and all that jazz, but if a chinese or indian guy comes up to me and ask me this simple question, i'd be puzzled for a few seconds or so...

now, after spending a few days just thinking about it, the answer couldnt be simpler. see the trouble arises when we mix our culture and our traditions and or adat(morals in a traditional sense) culture is how we lead our everydaylife, whereas traditions is our guidelines. now to the sense-making... our culture is simply how all of us, interact interacially, like hanging about at mamak stalls, thats our culture, playing pool with our buddies, thats our culture, watching football matches that takes place outside of our country together, that is OUR culture.

basically culture is everchanging, and tradiotion will be in our lives for eons to come, yes they run together like perfectly matching caligraphy lines but they are parallel, they do not intertwine and such.

i dont know why im posting this anyway, i thought my blog could use an intelligence boost....

gloat like a mofo

2006-08-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

did anyone catch the ffm19 the other night? where only halfway thru the show are the winners be given the right to gloat and give their acceptance speech? i just dont get it man, like why give them awards when they cant take their time to appreciate and give their thanks and such... ok so maybe gloat is a harsh term but nevertheless, i find it weird at the fact that only halfway thru the show did they realise that 'oh crap, we have so much airtime left, maybe we should let them speak'.

the whole sharifah amani thing... damn man, in my opinion is completely bogus... from the moment she spoke, i knew someone was gonna make a big fuss out of it... 'i sound stupid when i speak malay' does not mean that my iq drops down 90 points when i speak or embrace my language, it just means that i am more comfortable when i speak english, geez man... and the other thing "kalau membuat filem mencemarkan budaya kita, lets do it more often", some may take this in and insensitive manner but if you think about it, it makes perfect sense.. alot of people mix culture with tradition, i am not saying that we should meddle with tradition, i am saying that we should meddle with our culture, lets provoke it, hell it makes great movies, our multiracial culture with a taboo for segragation(sp?) yet it is still there, we are all racist deep down, dont even dare to not admit it, lets destroy this culture... okay so maybe you are not getting me here, lets take a movie for instance, a prof madya movie... if you even bother to pop your head into the cinema how many different races do you see? okay now lets try it with a yasmin ahmad movie... how many different races do you see? ... i rest my case

besides this, i just hope that anak anak seni can blossom to what they really are, with the utmost freedom of expression without any whiplash, kalau tak, macam mana film industry kita nak maju...

anyhoots, if i dont post til next month, i just wanna wish everyone a good merdeka.. merdeka!!! merdeka from opression of censorship, merdeka from the narrow thinking that leads to chucking kulit durian out of a car window on the plus highway, merdeka everyone

the journey of a thousand durians

2006-08-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

right so lets clear my concience for a minute, the results came out yesterday, i didnt do too well, but its ok, i have my leaving cert to back up on and stuff, to all my buddies who did well, good on you and congrats, go on lead a good life, and for my buddies who didnt do too well, its all good mates, no use crying over spilt milk right? and the sun will still shine tomorrow and all that jazz

went back to batu pahat last weekend, not much excitement there, tell me about it...

"thats how you get things done man, stick your balls out there" one quote worth taking out of jerry mcguire, its oh so true in the case of the unemployed; me and me buddy idzo stormed the fortress of tv3 the other day, it was worth it, got my cv taken in, got a bunch of contact numbers, met rina from 8tv, it was all butter and gravy baby yeah

right im sorry if this post is not long enough for your liking or no good rants and ramblings is present for your monthly feed, but its my blog and you can shove your monitor where the sun will not shine tomorrow if you dont like it.. till then ta ta

im a power ranger bitch!!

2006-07-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

ah for those of whom always in need of akie updates, your dreams have now been fulfilled, u sad bastards... aku tak update nanti kene marah, update pun kene marah jugak. "eh too short la ur update"... well its longer than ur penis... but let us not use this blog as an opportunity to throw angry rants and ramblings now shall we... oh wait thats what blogs are for.. im still job hunting, the only position i havent applied for is professional streetwalker and scoutmaster.. saw potc2, absolutely loved it, gore verbinski(sp?) nailed it like its a stepchild..cant wait for the next one.. i dont think im going to perth, so im prolly stuck here till next year or so, prolly longer, i dont really care anymore, cos if i cant take the shit of a working life(or unemployed) no more i'll just do my degree local, its not like its a bad thing now is it?.. at least my current life allows me to watch great classics well not that old of movies anyway but will be rendered as classics in the next 20 years... devil's advocate is well on top of my list right now.

sitting down doing nothing allows me to think of the skinny entertaiment scene in malaysia right now, it is as if the media controls the stars and not vice versa, yes the media has always had the power to make or break a star but it is as if the celebrity is walking on a tightrope, any false move and a fall means a career homocide.. it is indeed a sad sight when you watch the news and you see the way they speak are full of false hope dying humility.. gone are the days when a celeb is worshipped for their ego and ultra-flair attitude towards the public and the mass media.

whatever happened to singles? no, not the sitting at home alone on a friday night kind cos i am more than familiar with those, i embody it... im talking about those things that are released before an artist releases a full blown album.. it is strange how they prosecute their ever declining record sales solely on the "pirates" that robs, pillages and copy. have they ever considered that their album may indeed suck. has it ever crossed their minds that one good song is not enough to pull an album through a season.. hence the single..it is the ideal solution for them singers who are identified by the public by the name of their song... i am most displeased when i watch the idiot box and all i see are ads of a bands greatest hits and the funny thing is that they just came out with their first album like two moons ago.. sedih sial.

oooooh look at me ramble like a mofo, and yes apparently blogs are like the next thing targetted by the media, isnt that funny, mass media shooting at the growing form of oh wait another media!!! the intenets is teh shitz my dear youg'ns and it is in our hands to manipulate it at our will, no i dont mean hack and shit, just a method of getting our voices heard..

so until next time kids, dont do drugs, they may taste good but they make you go all crazy like..
dah thats it, jangan complain lagik.. cukup la tu

i is back baby yeah

2006-07-07T23:12:00.000-07:00

read the title moron... ur loveable rouge, the skidmark of the net known as akerzz is back my youngies.. now where shall i begin... oh yes.. everyone seems to be around these days... everyone is back for the summer, and if i didnt get to see you guys yet or completely miss your visit (*cough* izzy *cough*), i am terribly terribly sorry... i have been rotting away at home since the last reunion, which is very sad indeed... currently working on my portfolio and schtuff...applying for curtin and all the jazz.oh and for all the monkees that have photos of me from the prom nite feel more than free to send me them goods on friendster man.. errmm well... thats all for now i guess... see you guys in a couple of weeks and shit

Caution.

2006-06-05T01:22:00.000-07:00

An evening with Akmal really (REALLY) isn't the best thing to have. Avoid, if possible.

Your friend,
TrapT

stupidity knows no boundaries, albeit race, religion or political beliefs

2006-05-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

righteous my dear brothers, thy narrator went and checked out the da vinci code.. yes yes spoilers ahoy!!

im sorry to say that it did not live up to my expectation, sad as my expectation for the movie was rather low. now where shall i begin, oh yes the very beginning would be nice.. for starters the fact that silas red eyes was made green really put me off, it was on that particular point of the movie that i realise that no they are not gonna stick true to the book. fine not sticking to particular minute details is something that i can live with but leaving out a whole damn puzzle was really a letdown... tears my dear brothers, tears...and the ending... good god, how in the hell does a whole priory of sion just appeared out of nowhere??? "oooh yeah we were just passing roslin chapel on our way to the leather jacket convention and we saw your car out front and thought hey lets go and say hi!!!"---- dumbash!!! this is merely just major stuff that i felt strongly about, for more rants on this subject, see me in real life.

anyhoots, me exams is going rather smoothly thus far, smiles replacing stress as the papers pass by. i have seen stress, talk to him and find his presence rather unpleasent. stress can be defined as being stuck in a room with a really annoying mime, he doesnt say anything yet his presence mock you. ah well only 14 more days to total freedom..till then im back in the mime room

something smells like kambing

2006-05-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

ah back again are we, into this mere existence that is the internet, where verbal vomit and excrements of thoughts and rants may take place as they please.. the world is man's urinal, and the internet is everyones cubicle.. so my life has taken a sickening twist, as the 18 months of classes has come to and abrupt end, and only a week after that my mom gets an offer to shoot off to perth... me plans of bumming around for the next six month will not be a reality... as much as it is merely a fantasy... hark!