mr.anderson... i am disappoint

if you don't understand what the heading is all about, go ahead and google 'son i am disappoint', its been giving me the giggles for the last couple of days. one of the few things that actually made me giggle really. i tend to question myself as a human being, am i being a hypocrite to myself when i can smile and laugh in the presence of others, which in turn, makes them giggle and smirk, all the while, when i am alone, i fail to entertain myself ( ha ha masturbation innuendo.. farnee laaaa). seriously though, i hate being left alone with my thoughts. i tend to get rather paranoid, its almost painful.

why is it, in the presence of others, we want to be left alone, yet when left alone, we hope to dwell in the presence of others.. arent we just odd creatures.. i wish i can remember how to achieve zen in a state of loneliness.. i used to be very good at it, no really, thats how i roll!!!